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Friday, January 7, 2011

To bury the castle, we shall bury the castle

This post is inspired by "Brick by the Boring Brick" by Paramore and my best friend, Joanna.


She was a pretty little girl.
At least she thought so.
She has a castle, with a beautiful garden, somewhere deep in the forest.
And the day will never turn dark.
It stays sunny and happy all the time.
So much of happiness, so much of laughter.

She walked into the forest, chasing butterflies.
A butterfly landed on her fingers.
She smiled and ripped off its' wings.
Another pairs of wings grew back, much prettier than the previous ones.
And the ones she ripped off, transformed into a lovely flower.

This is the place where mistakes are forgiven
And nothing dies.


Her prince came, with a tall white horse.
He was her knight of shining armour, ready to fight any evil beings that intend to hurt her.
But he was a trick.
Every predator has its own way of attracting its prey.
She was casted a spell.

As the clock struck twelve,
A group of people came.
She couldn't see their faces.
But they were tearing down her castle.
They burnt the forest.
She cried out loud, constantly rubbing her eyes.
Hoping things would change every time she rubs them.

They dragged her.
She was covered with soil.
They threw her into to a deep hole.
She begged them to take her out.
But all they did was to take a shovel and bury her.

Then they stopped.
A hand was being held out and she was lifted up from the hole.
They agreed to let her live.
On one condition, to help them bury the castle they tore down.

So, to bury the castle, let's bury the castle.
Let's bury the happiness you created in your dreams.
Let's feel pain and soak into the depression of reality.
Say goodbye to the little voice inside of us.

Monday, January 3, 2011

New year 2011 =)


Hello there.
2010 has passed and here comes the new year, new resolutions and beginning.
Would I say 2010 was a good year?
I wouldn't.
I have encountered what I thought I would never encounter again.
A lot of falls.
Career. Studies. Relationships.
I can be optimistic and say that whenever unwanted things happen,
It's a way of life slapping you in the face, saying
"Hey, there's something I want you to learn."

I guess it's just a phase we're encountering.
I believe those of my age are experiencing the same
The learning curve.
The questions that we asked
Which we will know the answer eventually.

Let's see how I have changed and learnt over the year.

1. It's okay to keep things to myself.
2. I can accept rejections more easily.
3. Education is important. Although I may not necessarily use them when I work, but people will have more faith in me because I am qualified.
4. I do not have to change myself for anybody.
5. When I promised myself back in 2009 I will not go clubbing, I really did not go for the whole year 2010. Lol.
6. There is nothing wrong with me. What's wrong is that I keep thinking there's something wrong.
7. I've forgiven 2 people for their betrayal towards me.
8. I joined the gym, which was rather an impulsive decision.
9. I passed my PCE and CEILI exams.
10. I have a license with the bank.
11. I've lied about my age and background, which I find necessary.
12. There are some people who love you for who they thought you are. But for the ones who really know you and stood by you, they're worth appreciating.
13. I forgot who I was. I tried being someone whom I thought the general population would like. I forgot that I was unique and it's only a blessing when someone thinks like you and like you for who you are.
14. I have so many dresses.
15. I usually don't go for vacation, but I've been to pretty much places lately.
16. I've met Will Chong, someone I can actually click with pretty well. He made me feel less like an alien in this world and we share many ideas together. In a way, he made me feel like myself because I usually do not like to talk about daily events or gossips about other people.
17. 8 years. Joanna is still my best friend. And for once, I actually saw her mad. Haha. When I got a little too drunk and noisy.
18. I finally had straight hair which barely lasted for a month. I realized I preferred curly hair. See what I told you? I was really trying to be someone else.
19. I love flowery dresses.
20. I made salmon salad! I am really that creative. Lol. I did that to combine two kinds of food that someone really like. I realized I tend to perform better when I do it for someone.
21. I have become really LAZY. I used to think sleeping is a waste of time, now sleeping is like an addiction.
22. I can't be mean to someone who hurt me. I rather just be nice and let go.

And my new year resolutions:

1. I will become less of a perfectionist by making less demands on myself.
2. I will study harder because I know I am capable of achieving results.
3. Pilates and Yoga. Less cardio and weight lifting exercises.
4. Love myself more.
5. Earn at least RM30k.
6. Just keep working and expect less.


I think that's all.
I wanna blog about my end year trips.
Maybe later.
Nights.




Monday, December 27, 2010

Love Addict


What's a love addict?

A love addict is a person who is addicted to relationships, or rather addicted to being in love.
It is a process whereby a person going through an initial innocent moment of attraction and began idealizing another person.

For example, a girl meets someone whom she believed will make a good boyfriend. She believes that he holds the key to her happiness. She may be blindly attached to him and project various illusions about how wonderful he is and what a great couple they would be. She would overlooked his flaws and problems of the relationship.



These are the various signs of a love addict :

  • Is unable to trust in relationships
  • Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood
  • Battles with depression
  • Tolerates high-risk behavior
  • Has other addictive or compulsive behaviors
  • Questions values and life all the time
  • Has a frantic personality
  • Denies problems
  • Confuses wants as needs
  • Replaces ended relationships immediately



A love addict is usually insecure and tend to over-commit in a relationship. He/She would always do whatever it takes to keep the relationship going. Although his or her partner may have presented an act (example; cheating, betrayal, violence, mental abuse etc), which is generally unacceptable, the person holds on to the relationship, believing that one day the person will change if he/she continues to love the person enough. The love addict begs and do whatever it takes to maintain the relationship.

He/she would also tend to give too much of themselves to the relationship. Every decision is made based on the consideration of the partner. He/she will tend to over-please and tend to look to be trying too hard. The partner would be either too overwhelmed and get a little terrified or take advantage of the situation, since the love addict would do anything for him/her.

When all else fails, the love addict gets upset and never want to speak to the ex again.
The love addict would get another partner in a short period of time. And the process will keep repeating itself until one day, he/she finds someone who would never want to break up with him/her.


What is the cause of love addiction?

It may be because of a first wonderful experience with a loved one which ends in heartbreak. Then, the person continues to search for love, in order to find back the wonderful feeling he/she once experienced.

Or rather,lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, hidden pain, early abandonment, unrecognized early needs, fears of rejection, pain and lack of love and hope.

You may find it hard to believe how a love addict appears to others.
A love addict is usually a high-achiever, whether academically or in a career.
They are usually very independent.
They go through paths which are much tougher than their counterparts.
They often wondered why others can get things so easily whereby they have to work very hard for it.
They may have suffered certain kind of rejection or abandonment during their early years.
They have very low-self esteem.
Although they are much capable than others because of their experiences, they tend to feel shallow and insecure, which is carried from their bitter past.
They are lonely souls whom believe their lives can only be complete with that special someone.
Once they found someone who is willing and is believed to be "The One",
They gave their all. Even sacrificing the pursue of their achievements.
They lag behind and felt even worse when they realized at the end of the day, their hard work was not worth it and being appreciated.


Addiction to love, can be as dangerous as to addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking and sex.
It leads to self-destruction and reckless behaviour. They will also have habits of getting into bad and unhealthy relationships.

If you have ever encounter a love addict,
Do remind them that they are being wonderful as they are as an individual.
Love addicts usually have fears or secretly hate being single.

A love addict may change his or her ways in order to suit the other who they assumed to be
"The One".

Every individual is unique in his or her ways.
Be yourself, bring out the best of yourself.
Do whatever you like.
Whatever you please.
Say whatever you want to say.
Don't second guess yourself.
When you know the person is not right, move on.
Because you are a great person,
And you can believe that there is one person out there who is made specially for you,
And would never want to leave you.
True love stays and is almost effortless.
You are terrific in your own way.
If others do not like you the way you are,
that is their problem,
Because one day, you're gonna meet someone who does,
And that person would be "The One".

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Too Much Muscles?

Fancy a muscular body? Probably too much....just too much...














Alright.
If you have enjoyed the previous pictures, you would most probably enjoy the last ones. ;)





Sources : www.berry.com

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Kiwi

The term "kiwi" can be referred to the "kiwi bird" or the "kiwi fruit".
Was the fruit named after the kiwi bird?
Or the bird named after the kiwi fruit?
Let's find out...




According to this legend...
Long time ago, there lived a peculiar species of birds.
They have short brown feathers, long sharp beak and no tail.
These birds could not fly and easily become victims of other predators.
They were of the size of a domestic chicken, yet lay an egg at a time which is six times larger than a regular chicken egg.
Unknown to most people, these birds are monogamous in their relationship for their entire lives.
During the mating season from June to March, the pair will call out to each other and meet at their nesting burrows every three days.

The male birds are the ones who incubated the eggs.
One particular season, the female bird laid an egg.
To lay an egg takes so much of that poor bird as bearing the egg leave little spaces in her stomach that she is forced to fast.
The male bird felt pain for his mate and visited her as often as he could.
When one day, she finally laid the egg and he happily incubated it for 63 days.
The female bird would be the one out searching for food.

Finally, the egg hatched.
The male bird was overjoyed and eager for the female to come back.
But she never did.
Few days later, he brought his little one out to search for food, and hopefully for his beloved and the baby's mother.
They found her stuck between some roots of a tree and were clueless on how to get her out.



Suddenly, a red-faced monkey came, broke the roots and took his mate away.
The male bird tried chasing after the monkey and the monkey climbed up the tree.
They watched in horror as the monkey tore up his wife and ate her.
It was too much for the baby to watch.
The baby suffered shocked and eventually fell sick and died.
When it died, it curled up itself.
The male could do nothing, and watched as the loves of his life of being taken away by the sadistic truth of nature.
As mentioned, these birds led monogamous lives and there is no way he can start over again.
So every night, he makes noises to the moon, as if calling back his loves.
He occasionally nudged his dead baby, as if trying to wake it up.

Tane Mahuta, the god of the forest heard his cries one day and came up to him.
The male bird complained of the fate of its kind, being so weak with no special capabilities.
The god felt deep sympathy for him and said he could do nothing much, as this is life.
However, the god turned its dead baby into a fruit and soon, many of these birds-look-alike fruits start growing in the forest.
This move may not entirely help the species, but at least confuse the predators.
The male bird can only accept the gift granted by the god of forest.
But nothing can change the fact that both his wife and baby is gone and he would remain lonely forever.

These birds are being named "Kiwi" because of the sound they make; - "kee-weee".
The locals named the fruits after the birds because of its similarities in terms of appearance.


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I have a confession to make.
I made up the legend.
But the facts were true though.

I write about this because I have sudden liking for kiwi fruits.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Shah Alam Agriculture Park

I have been giving tuition since 2004, and I would say I really enjoyed it because it is a joy to watch them grow and learn. Some of them have been following me since Standard One. After a stressful day at work or studies, spending time with them is just wonderful. Teaching is where I can use my creativity to generate ideas from my students and to make them understand the lessons in various ways. If I fail in the financial industry, education will be my last option.

As I have promised my students after they complete their UPSR exam, I brought them to the Agricultural Park/Botanical Garden on 20th Nov. Only 5 of them went as some could not make it. Anyway, here is a brief introduction to my students. These are the little monsters that make me smile.


Kien Hou aka Monkey
I also gave my students nicknames so it would be easy to call them instead of the mouthful Chinese names.
He is a very talkative boy and gets distracted very easily.
It is also easy for him to laugh and cry. He often gets bullied by other students because he is very forgiving.
I sometimes suspect whether he would be gay one day but or maybe, just maybe he is a very gentle and kind soul.
He is also a talking dictionary to the other students.
I asked him to give me a model's pose and he gave me above. Haha.

Chu Sheng aka Chicken
The naughtiest boy who just can't seem to sit still and makes the class noisy or rather "lively".
Smart guy, has an extraordinary ability in understanding Mathematics.

Lik Yieng aka Biscuit
Obedient and good girl.
Easy to teach and very helpful towards other students.

There are other two students who came but I do not have their individual pictures so here we go;-

From left to right; Monkey, Chicken, Lizard, Apple and Biscuit.


The children's mother also came because they both wanna keep an eye on their mischievous kids and have fun as well. KK was kind enough to drive and to lead us there. My sister and her boyfriend, Carvin also came. It was the first time I saw him since she had been with him for almost a year. As usual la, my sister is the big bully and Carvin is the kind and understanding boyfriend who knows how to tolerate and love her. :D


A corpse of a large tree.


My sister and her usual weird poses
.


The well-matched couple.


First destination : The Animal Park


Chicken tried to feed the parrot with his chocolate muffin.


Porcupines.


Horse.






Monkey was trying to make the peacock spread its beautiful feathery tail.



Next Destination: Four Season Temperate Garden. Entrance fee: RM3 for adults. Rm1 for children.



It was freezing cold and beautiful in there. I love how the air smells.





After that, as we leave the four season garden, we encountered a dreamy fairytale-like place.

We climbed the tower.


And looked from above.
Beautiful.


And guess what we saw?
The Royal Soldiers!






The kids start playing with the playground toys.


Monkey on his way to building sexy abs.



Swingers.


Constipated big kid.


I do not know what's with my sister. She loves the big chilli thing.

When it is only a dustbin. Disgusting Girl. Lol.


Our final destination: The Fish Park
(I don't know what is it called, I just simply named it)


Walking around the fish breeding area.


Feeding the fishes.


There are hardly pictures of me because I was the photographer. But here's one part of me! My hand feeding the fishes!



Look at the fishes rushing!


Close-up!!!


Gigantic Catfish.



That's a big mouth!


-FIN-

Should get back to studying now.