The Fall

You were once that rising star. All opportunities are being lined up for you.

You hear praises and applauds. You feel on top on the world.

Life, for once, felt complete.

You were proud of your achievements and everyone says that the future is bright for you.

You felt so overwhelmed.

People start labelling you with positive adjectives.

Some were envious of your success.

Some were at watchful eyes watching you to make a slip and fall.

When you fall, you try to pick yourself up.

A small slip wouldn't ruin your reputation.

A pain wouldn't feel so real if others stop asking you about it and highlighting about it.

Some took the opportunity to pull down your confidence to rock bottom level.

You shook them away.

But then again, it still feels so real.

You were embarassed.

You feel like a naked person with scars on your body with a skinny frame.

Or an overweight person waiting to be laughed at.

You put your arms around your body, as if trying to hide your pain.

You put your hands on your face, as if embarassed to show the world your face.

You can do three things.

One; -Give the world what the fuck they want.

They wanna see you fall,

"Oh well, come and get it!

I am fucking fine and I don't give a damn about what you say!"

You start doing impulsive things and sometimes, things that are considered "irrational."

Your close ones start to get worried of you.

Others love the craziness. It's entertainment for them.

Two; - Hide away.

You withdrawn yourself from the world.

You dropped whatever you have that reminds you of the pain.

You do not enjoy what you used to do anymore.

You fall into depression.

Sometimes tears swell up your eyes when you wake up, when you realized things aren't the same anymore.

Sometimes, tears rolled down when you are driving alone, because you feel so lonely moving on this road of life.

Sometimes, things get so bad that you fall into a coma.

Or a limbo. Too deep inside. That you will find it hard to find yourself again, that person you once felt so proud of.

Three- Fake a smile.

You put on the biggest and fakest smile you have.

You are a wonderful actor.

The fall isn't so bad for you, you can pick yourself back up again.

You seek comfort of those who cared for you.

You feel less helpless.

Somehow, sometimes, you couldn't help shaking.

Shaking with fear, with the fear of failure again.

You try to come up with a new plan, trying to prove you can bounce back once again.

When it fails, it crushes you further.

Your ego is bruised. That ego is the one that push you to the extra lengths.

Then you choose to pursue smaller goals.

Your confidence slowly comes back everytime you achieved each goals.

The three things mentioned can come in sequences or stages.

Or either that you fall into any of the categories and remain there as you wish.

Choice One will cause you to be rebellious and make you addicted to thrills.

The worst thing that can happen is that your reputation will be ruined forever.

Choice Two will leave you feeling empty everyday. To the point that you feel life is meaningless and thoughts of suicide start playing in your head.

Choice Three is the hardest to do. You might be tired of trying to please the world. And for once, you want to show that you are still human, just as vulnerable as anyone else.

The fall can be anything.

A parent's divorce. A destroyed career. A business failure. A ruined relationship. Failing in education. A death of a close one. Or an unintentional mistake.

When something important to us die, it took a large part of us away together with them.

We are left with that emptiness.

By choice one, we are aggressively trying to fill the emptiness with anything that can make us feel good again, which of course, lead to another fall, due to the rush, due to the lack of patience and rationality to slowly pick and make our decisions.

Choice two is a choice whereby you just let the emptiness be. And the hole just keeps getting bigger. Bigger until there is nothing left of you.

Choice three is allowing things to slowly come in to fill the emptiness. Emptiness is filled with time, when our subconcious slowly allows us to accept and be receptive to new things. To give ourselves more time to heal before we make another comeback.

Perhaps a fall isn't a bad thing.

It makes us stop moving at high speed for once and start paying attention to what is really happening. To what we are really missing out.

Perhaps a fall can be a break. A good excuse to withdraw yourself from the world for awhile.

When you need time to think, for once, for yourself.

As you go through things in your head, (please, but not obsessively)

you can finally see things with a clearer picture while taking a step back.

You saw the blind spot with your new naked eyes.

You are able to view things in many different angles.

And thus, realized things weren't that bad after all.

As you smiled at the wonderful memories.

As you congratulate yourself for the past success.

As you look into the mirror with that well-styled-combed hair, new set of clothes, a little paint on your face, you smile and you realized how charming you can be.

You are ready now to face the world, with the strengths you still have,

To create a new, and a better name for yourself.