New Year 2012

Today, the last day of 2011.

I am going to stop here and reflect.

Then, tomorrow, move on and try not to look back.

In comparison to last year, this year is pretty amazing.

It could be one of the best years in my life.

The year I turned 21.

The year which I experienced so many things,

And an indication of I am growing up.

Stepping in slowly in adulthood.

Here are my reflections:

1) I am more controlled of my emotions now. I do not blabber when I am nervous or upset. I learnt to withdraw and process quietly the situation then take necessary measures. If a problem cannot be solved, I move on.

2) I have gained back all my self esteem. Even better than before. Past experiences had made me stronger and immune towards certain situations. I do not necessary need to seek for someone's approval to make decisions now.

3) I finally got off my braces. :)

4) I love my curly hair. And this is the hair I am going to wear for life.

5) I finally quit my job at the bank. And no more as an insurance agent. I felt so much better, so free. Sales is not for me.

6) Finance is not for me too. I do not see myself working in this field.

7) Found my true passion; psychology, training, counselling, writing, and human resource. These are the things I would never get bored of.

8) I have really awesome friends. And I am really thankful. I think this is the peak of my life where I will have the most friends. Thank you so much my UTAR mates, my best friend Joanna and the other groups of friends whom sincerely cared for me.

9) I finally left my intoxicated relationship. Should have left and never gone back before, but now I can see things in a very clear matter. I felt angry and confused at first but now, I feel nothing. It was once a relationship where people, even myself perceived to be a fairytale but let's not let this blind faith lead us to actually living the life we want and to become who we really want to be. I wish us all the best as we take on our separate ways. It requires strength to hold this long, but greater strength is required to let go. But I have no regrets whatsoever.

10) I am no longer a relationship or a love addict. Relationships is something you get into, with someone you really like, not out of "standards" or how you want to be treated like. Boyfriends and girlfriends are not floats or "helpmates". Having one does not reflect the measure of your self-worth.

11) I used to be really lazy but now I have gain my momentum back. I remembered in primary and high school, I used to be very egoistic and I HAVE to win, which drives all my past success. Now, I am gaining it back. I think I am prepared mentally to face what is ahead of me, in year 2012. The year which I will graduate and such mental strength is required to face the necessary challenges.

12) Only get into a relationship with someone I really like. I have this crazy standard, this long list of requirements and the consequences of requirements not met, written and kept somewhere. Judging from the crazy standards, I guess it would be really difficult to meet someone which hit all the points, which is a good thing.

13) I prefer hanging out with girls now. I used to think that hanging with guys are more fun. But we're all grown up now. Things are different. Having girlfriends are very crucial in life, they are the ones you really pour out your heart to and can be yourself with. You cannot expect the same level of comfort from guys. They are Guys.

14) I felt something for the first time.

15) My first trip outside the country: Bangkok! Looking forward to go Hong Kong soon! :D

16) I am still flighty, volatile and all that but I have it well-controlled now. Besides that, eliminating all that flighty-ness would eliminate the fun, right? I'll keep it for my happy times.

17) As much as I was brought up to be mad at him, but he is still my father. I would regret ignoring and not treating him well than being good to him.

18) I love my sister.

19) I excel at presentations and giving speeches.

20) I am liking black again.

21) Developed a new important trait: Patience.

And my new year resolutions?

1) Enjoy the year. ;)