When nobody is around, you hide in a dark corner. Your black flesh with hollow bones and no blood, you sat there. You raised your hands, your massive hands with claws and slowly scratched your chest. You pulled out your beating heart, the only thing that is glowing in the dark. You took a taste and a bite off your heart. You felt the pain of eating your own heart, but you enjoyed the melancholic feeling. Then, you placed it back into your chest, slowing sewing your chest, closing that gap with a fake smile once you stepped out of that dark corner.
You walked out of the room, the space that you created for yourself.
You are a champion in everyone's eyes.
You are great in everything you do, with the massive amount of effort you put into.
You make others happy and you go extra length for anybody as long they are worth it.
Whenever people mention your name, they always have something good to say.
You have worked all your life to please everyone around you, to be fit in society's eyes.
You take criticism very seriously as you are a perfectionist.
You never hope anything in return for the things you do for people, all you want is a little appreciation.
You are eager to please and you hate it when you hurt someone, whether intentionally or not.
It kills you.
You take the blame for everything, you refused to be engaged in confrontations.
You have extreme of dislike towards conflicts and negativity.
You have little expectations of everything and everyone because you are so afraid of rejections and disappointments.
You look for faults in yourself and regrets the things you have done or could have done in the past.
As much as you try to hide your hollow soul, it shows sometimes.
Those who are near to you are terrified when they saw your other side.
When they touched and seen that scar on your chest and heard the faint beating of your heart, they do either two things.
One, keep a distance from you. Or...
Two, try to fix that broken heart of yours.
What they didn't know is that you've eaten your heart so much that it's almost impossible to save.
They tried saving you by giving some of their heart.
Your heart is already infected with disease and it's affecting the other heart given to you too.
They screamed in pain but insisted to save you.
Finally, they have decided there is no point in doing so and took back their broken piece of heart.
That piece which has been given to you is now swollen and needs time to heal.
And their heart would never been the same again.
They will become more reluctant in giving out hearts again.
They become more selfish and cold-hearted, thanks to the experience of life.
When you sat alone again,
You slowly come to realize that,
Friends and Lovers come and go,
Your family is always there for you.
Your mother whom you have spoken harsh words to,
Your dad whom you have spoken little to,
Your siblings whom you sometimes forgot they existed.
Maybe one day, you will learn to stop hurting yourself with blame and regrets.
Maybe one day, you will stop eating your heart so you will have a nice full heart to give to others who may need it or to give to someone who will appreciate it.
Maybe one day, you will grow an ego so big that you find self-sympathy and people sympathizing you is pathetic.
Maybe one day, you will learn to love yourself.
This post is dedicated to ESFJs, ENFJs, INFJs and ISTJs, and also people who has to face the realities of life despite being depressed about themselves and the things happening to them.
Stop being a cannibal to yourself and others.
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