I have waited very long for this year. There was a prophecy that this year will be a good year for me.
Finally, yes. It is a good year, after I quit my job. But it also the year that I got diagnosed with PCOS and my relationship with Will is tested.
Dealing with PCOS is not easy. The chances of getting PCOS is 1 out 10 women and the feeling of unfairness keep lingering with despair in my head.
It was hard to lose weight at first.. I started out at 55kg..however, being at 51kg+ makes me feel more motivated and positive to go on. LCHF (ketogenic diet) helps a lot.
My relationship with Will is tested. Although I realized how much I love him and afraid of losing him, an extraterrestrial spirit comes in once a while although I try my best to shut it, to be distracted away from it and see the spirit nothing greater than my head portrays it.
The hardest to deal with is depression and anxiety. So far, working out, having very supportive people and seeing results help.
These feelings of worthlessness, guilt and emptiness sometimes haunt me and won't let me do anything.
But so far, I am coping with it well. Although I had PMS, I managed to pull off my speeches and gotten best speech (although there might be chances they are being kind to new people).
I am feeling better now. I am trying to allow myself to relax, procrastinate and not do things and not feel guilty about it. And when I do things, I congratulated and praised myself.
Step by step, and this shall soon be a habit and I shall recover quickly.
