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Monday, February 7, 2011

Feelers Vs Thinkers

My blog is getting boring.
Whatever. I don't care. I'm writing this for myself.
And for those who care.


I'm going to talk about a function, a characteristic of human's behaviour.
The Thinker Vs The Feeler.

How can you identify a Thinker and A Feeler?
It's kind of easy.

Try this test.
Try criticizing a person.
Observe the change of their expression.
If they seem upset, defensive and tries to offend you back.
They are most likely to be "Feelers."
"Thinkers" are most likely people with poker faces.
You will find it very hard to read their expressions.
When you criticize them, they either laugh, keep quiet or question you on why do you say so.
Those are Thinkers.

In general, Thinkers are people who make decisions based on rational, logical analysis that is usually unbiased.
Feelers are people who make decisions based on emotions, how they feel about them and according to their principles and values.

I'll give an example.
An established company in a State X is going to shift to State Y for company expansion and cost- reducing purpose.
A Feeler manager may not agree with the decision made because it may cause many people in State X to lose their jobs.
A Thinker manager would go ahead with the plan because it would be beneficial for the company to reduce cost and explore other markets.

I wouldn't whether a Thinking function or a Feeling function would be better.
It depends on the job.
Like for example, if you're dealing with numbers, strategy or any type of work that requires logical analysis, Thinkers would be more suitable for the job because they are less likely to be affected by emotions.
Jobs dealing with people, like teaching, services and human resource work,
It's better to be handled by Feelers.

What would make a Thinker or Feeler special:
Feelers naturally can understand people's emotions better and knows the words people want to hear.
Thinkers are non-biased and not emotionally clingy.
Thinkers have little desire to please others in comparison to Feelers.

If you look back in history, all the great leaders are Thinkers.
Even the top wealthiest man on earth are Thinkers.
Julius Caesar, Franklin D.Roosevelt, Shih Huang Ti,
Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, George Soros, Carlos Slim Helu
Thinkers are also merciless leaders and dictators;
Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong-il

We shall also not forget the famous Feeler leaders;
Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther and Barack Obama.
Barack Obama is a Feeler and is considered the most powerful man on earth now,
since he is the president of the world's largest economy country.
Barack Obama (enFp) won over Hilary Clinton (esTj)
because the people of the United States are sick of the deterioration of the economy and the wars abroad.
Barack Obama won the hearts of US citizens because he recognizes and understands what the people need at that moment.
That's the power of a Feeler.

I am being very unbiased here.
I am a Feeler myself but I still have my doubts on over the longetivity of a Feeler's leadership.
Feelers are always, always affected by emotions.
And always take people's feelings into considerations.
While you're busy pleasing everybody else, you may start to stumble on your priorities.
Sometimes, harsh decisions has to be made because it is right.
If you feel guilty over the decision, you will find it hard to move on to the next task.
Which you will find your productivity level in the next task will drop.
A leader should always, always be focused on the goal without being affected by emotions.
I am not trying to judge the potential of Barack Obama (He is a Feeler, enFp, the Inspirer, his talks motivates and inspires people) but just stating my point of view for leaderships in general.

Let's step into romance.
If you have a partner who is a Feeler,
You would most likely to be loved and appreciated.
Because the partner would do anything, anything for you, going for extra lengths and so forth.
They often say how much they love and appreciate you.
A Feeler also finds more difficulty in getting over a partner although he/she knows that the person isn't right.

If you have a partner who is a Thinker.
It will drive you crazy.
Because sometimes they look like they do not care.
But in fact, they do not know how to express their feelings.
Very often when they do something for you,
even if you do not see it, they would just keep quiet.
They express their love through acts of service, gifts or just being there to listen to you.
They would sound awkward or funny when they try to be romantic so most of the time, they would prevent sounding so to not make themselves look like fools.

Dealing with Stress:
A Feeler will keep dwelling on the problem and ask many people's opinions about it.
Sometimes, they will go from one person to the other person to talk about their problems.
They're not looking for solutions, they just want people to hear them and approve of their ways.
They just want people to sympathize and understand them.
Even if you provide a solution to a Feeler, they will start defending themselves and counter you back, so there's no point actually.
Just listen to the Feeler and tell them things they wanna hear.

A thinker would most likely withdraw themselves,
mostly uninterested to listen to people's problems,
so they wouldn't even bother to talk about theirs
unless talking about it can really help them,
they might either just go to sleep
and perform a task repetitively, like cleaning or calculating stuff over and over again.

Friends:
Feelers are very fun people.
You can expect great company with them.
And long, long conversations.
you would feel connected.

Thinkers;
Better if you perform activities with them.
If you want to seek solutions to your problems, seek a Thinker friend.
The thinker will provide unbiased and rational opinions.
If you just want someone to listen to you and empathize with you,
seek the Feeler.


Personal opinion and experiences with Feelers and Thinkers :

Feelers are biased, they give opinions and suggestions based on their own interest and values.
It is not logical and sometimes can be irrational.
Being a Feeler myself, I can feel how someone is feeling and deeply empathize with them.
However, if I were to emphathize a Feeler, I will feel screwed up because the feeler's mind is so complicated and psychotic, which will in turn affect my emotions.
Take for example,
A feeler will be telling me about a particular thing, then beat around the bush and make me feel guilty in order to do something for them.
If I give no response, they will give me another guilt ride until I finally give in to them.
Why would I say a Feeler's mind is complicated?
They caught in between doing what they desire and pleasing other people.
For example, a Feeler wants to spend some time on their own for an activity of their interest,
But another person asked them to help them on something else (which they can actually do it on their own).
The Feeler will eventually give in. A thinker would less likely to do so.

Let's say the person asking for help is another Feeler.
That person can be very manipulative.
In order to get what they want.

But usually people will be appreciative towards a Feeler because usually a Feeler is kind and will go extra lengths for you.

Example of manipulative Feelers, Extroverted Feelers; Eg : ENFJ, ESFJ, ESFP, ENFP. Among four, the most manipulative one is ENFJ and the least manipulative one is ENFP. At their worst, ENFJ is a manipulator who is a choleric psycho but at least can be understanding in the end. ESFJ is manipulative without even realizing it, which is pretty screwed up I would say. If an ESFP is a shallow one, the ESFP can be whore by using his/her charms to get what they want. ENFP manipulates people without people realizing it but always tend to be sucker for guilt trips in the end.

I prefer dealing with Thinkers. Whether working or talking about my stuff. Especially ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP or INTJ.

Perhaps being a feeler myself makes me feel even more incomplete when I'm with another feeler.

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. i am unable to understand if i am a feeler or a thinker.
    i like to be with thinkers who are nice to talk to. i feel strong. i enjoy with them and feel happy. i feel that i can be myself.
    but when i am with feelers, i feel weak. tell them anything in a straight forward manner and they get hurt. i feel guilty- they make me feel guilty. infact i feel that i myself often get hurt when i am with feelers and sometimes when with thinkers.
    i prefer taking decisions in logical manner. i value reality more.
    but at the same time i care for people. i don't like to be harsh.
    my mom and dad are feelers.
    people say that i am a gentleman and kind hearted. but i don't like to be called a feeler.
    i am still confused.o be with thinkers who are nice to talk to. i feel strong. i enjoy with them and feel happy. i feel that i can be myself.
    but when i am with feelers, i feel weak. tell them anything in a straight forward manner and they get hurt. i feel guilty- they make me feel guilty. infact i feel that i myself often get hurt when i am with feelers and sometimes when with thinkers.
    i prefer taking decisions in logical manner. i value reality more.
    but at the same time i care for people. i don't like to be harsh.
    my mom and dad are feelers.
    people say that i am a gentleman and kind hearted. but i don't like to be called a feeler.
    i am still confused.





    i am unable to understand if i am a feeler or a thinker.
    i like to be with thinkers who are nice to talk to. i feel strong. i enjoy with them and feel happy. i feel that i can be myself.
    but when i am with feelers, i feel weak. tell them anything in a straight forward manner and they get hurt. i feel guilty- they make me feel guilty. infact i feel that i myself often get hurt when i am with feelers and sometimes when with thinkers.
    i prefer taking decisions in logical manner. i value reality more.
    but at the same time i care for people. i don't like to be harsh.
    my mom and dad are feelers.
    people say that i am a gentleman and kind hearted. but i don't like to be called a feeler.
    i am still confused.o be with thinkers who are nice to talk to. i feel strong. i enjoy with them and feel happy. i feel that i can be myself.
    but when i am with feelers, i feel weak. tell them anything in a straight forward manner and they get hurt. i feel guilty- they make me feel guilty. infact i feel that i myself often get hurt when i am with feelers and sometimes when with thinkers.
    i prefer taking decisions in logical manner. i value reality more.
    but at the same time i care for people. i don't like to be harsh.
    my mom and dad are feelers.
    people say that i am a gentleman and kind hearted. but i don't like to be called a feeler.
    i am still confused.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahaha...you sound like an INTP to me. :P
    But I am suspecting you have thinking and perceiving traits. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. i have taken mbti test and most of the time i have tested INTJ. may be sometimes i become perceiving. but is it possible for thinkers to have extreme emotions sometimes. i had a girl friend. when we were together, she used to complain that i was not very expressive about my feelings for her though i used to care a lot. she often used to make me sentimental. i have even cried for her many times though usually i never cry. broke off a year ago ( because of me. i went away from her because i felt that i no more had feelings for her). but i don't know why till today her thoughts make me emotional. but i don't want her back in my life because she makes me weak. does this kind of things happen to thinkers?

    ReplyDelete