What's a love addict?
A love addict is a person who is addicted to relationships, or rather addicted to being in love.
It is a process whereby a person going through an initial innocent moment of attraction and began idealizing another person.
For example, a girl meets someone whom she believed will make a good boyfriend. She believes that he holds the key to her happiness. She may be blindly attached to him and project various illusions about how wonderful he is and what a great couple they would be. She would overlooked his flaws and problems of the relationship.
These are the various signs of a love addict :
- Is unable to trust in relationships
- Has an inner rage over lack of nurturing in childhood
- Battles with depression
- Tolerates high-risk behavior
- Has other addictive or compulsive behaviors
- Questions values and life all the time
- Has a frantic personality
- Denies problems
- Confuses wants as needs
- Replaces ended relationships immediately
A love addict is usually insecure and tend to over-commit in a relationship. He/She would always do whatever it takes to keep the relationship going. Although his or her partner may have presented an act (example; cheating, betrayal, violence, mental abuse etc), which is generally unacceptable, the person holds on to the relationship, believing that one day the person will change if he/she continues to love the person enough. The love addict begs and do whatever it takes to maintain the relationship.
He/she would also tend to give too much of themselves to the relationship. Every decision is made based on the consideration of the partner. He/she will tend to over-please and tend to look to be trying too hard. The partner would be either too overwhelmed and get a little terrified or take advantage of the situation, since the love addict would do anything for him/her.
When all else fails, the love addict gets upset and never want to speak to the ex again.
The love addict would get another partner in a short period of time. And the process will keep repeating itself until one day, he/she finds someone who would never want to break up with him/her.
What is the cause of love addiction?
It may be because of a first wonderful experience with a loved one which ends in heartbreak. Then, the person continues to search for love, in order to find back the wonderful feeling he/she once experienced.
Or rather,lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, hidden pain, early abandonment, unrecognized early needs, fears of rejection, pain and lack of love and hope.
You may find it hard to believe how a love addict appears to others.
A love addict is usually a high-achiever, whether academically or in a career.
They are usually very independent.
They go through paths which are much tougher than their counterparts.
They often wondered why others can get things so easily whereby they have to work very hard for it.
They may have suffered certain kind of rejection or abandonment during their early years.
They have very low-self esteem.
Although they are much capable than others because of their experiences, they tend to feel shallow and insecure, which is carried from their bitter past.
They are lonely souls whom believe their lives can only be complete with that special someone.
Once they found someone who is willing and is believed to be "The One",
They gave their all. Even sacrificing the pursue of their achievements.
They lag behind and felt even worse when they realized at the end of the day, their hard work was not worth it and being appreciated.
Addiction to love, can be as dangerous as to addiction to drugs, alcohol, smoking and sex.
It leads to self-destruction and reckless behaviour. They will also have habits of getting into bad and unhealthy relationships.
If you have ever encounter a love addict,
Do remind them that they are being wonderful as they are as an individual.
Love addicts usually have fears or secretly hate being single.
A love addict may change his or her ways in order to suit the other who they assumed to be
"The One".
Every individual is unique in his or her ways.
Be yourself, bring out the best of yourself.
Do whatever you like.
Whatever you please.
Say whatever you want to say.
Don't second guess yourself.
When you know the person is not right, move on.
Because you are a great person,
And you can believe that there is one person out there who is made specially for you,
And would never want to leave you.
True love stays and is almost effortless.
You are terrific in your own way.
If others do not like you the way you are,
that is their problem,
Because one day, you're gonna meet someone who does,
And that person would be "The One".
