Reasons Why I Dislike Clubbing

Whoops, this is gonna be the most biased post ever. I stopped going clubbing since 2009, after the fourth time i went.

And the reasons I dislike clubbing are;

1) The atmosphere

Crazy lights. Loud music. Smoke. Crowds.

See flashy lights. Headache.

Loud Music. You have to get close to each other in order to hear what the other is saying.

"Whisper in my ear, baby."

Well, that's the whole point.

Smoke. Second-hand smoking. Stinky hair.

Crowds. Get molested by random strangers and or even your friends.

2) Not a fan of alcohol

It taste like poison. Worse than medicine. Okay, you can kill me for saying this. Would prefer it if it's a cocktail or sweeter.

But if you don't drink, there's no point of going right?

Drinking, getting high and dance suggestively is the whole point right?

3) Expensive

Cover charge + Alcohol. Unless it's ladies' night.

If you're female, you can club for freee!!

It's the males who are paying.

Well, if the males are the ones paying, of course they want you to drink.

To drink more and more, in hopes you will let down your guard when you're tipsy and high.

If you're paying, it could range from rm50 to a few hundreds.

I rather use the money for facial or get a new haircut. Or get a new outfit.

Spending money on clubbing is like wiping your ass with money then flushing it down to the toiletbowl.

4) High Opportunity Cost

The club starts to get high around 12am plus, so most likely you might reach home around 2-4am. Then you have to wake up late the next day. Half of the day would be gone.

I rather sleep early and wake up early for exercise or spend my day doing something productive.

If you get a hangover, you would feel so horrible on the next day.

If you manage to get up early, you will still feel sluggish for the rest of the day.

5) Your friends suddenly become someone else.

The last time I went, my friends left me waiting outside the club for more than an hour.

My baby sister suddenly looked as if like she is filming a music video like The Pussycat Dolls.

My girlfriend kissed my boyfriend and flashed her tits.

Maybe it's just me. Being Unlucky.

Can ruin friendship sometimes.

They say alcohol can make people to become buddies.

But in my opinion, alcohol burn your values and self-control for that moment in which the consequences may last for a lifetime.

6) Getting picked up or flirting by random strangers

"Hi, how's your day? I'm XXX."

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"I was standing over there and you caught my eye."

I don't need to be approached by strangers in order to realize I am attractive.

In fact, I feel offended. Approaching me only made me feel as if I was easy. Like any other girls in the club.

7) Pranks

When you have playful friends. When you get a too drunk. But normally I'm the one playing pranks on people. Anyway..

8) Unhealthy

Enough said. We all know the side effects of alcohol and late nights.

In conclusion, I will avoid going to clubs unless :

i) Being forced to

ii) With good sensible and fun (with limits) female friends

iii) To save someone.

iv) Out of my mind. Probably gone crazy or duper zuper upset.

Good night. The club lovers are gonna hate me for this post. HaHa.

Feelers Vs Thinkers

My blog is getting boring.

Whatever. I don't care. I'm writing this for myself.

And for those who care.

I'm going to talk about a function, a characteristic of human's behaviour.

The Thinker Vs The Feeler.

How can you identify a Thinker and A Feeler?

It's kind of easy.

Try this test.

Try criticizing a person.

Observe the change of their expression.

If they seem upset, defensive and tries to offend you back.

They are most likely to be "Feelers."

"Thinkers" are most likely people with poker faces.

You will find it very hard to read their expressions.

When you criticize them, they either laugh, keep quiet or question you on why do you say so.

Those are Thinkers.

In general, Thinkers are people who make decisions based on rational, logical analysis that is usually unbiased.

Feelers are people who make decisions based on emotions, how they feel about them and according to their principles and values.

I'll give an example.

An established company in a State X is going to shift to State Y for company expansion and cost- reducing purpose.

A Feeler manager may not agree with the decision made because it may cause many people in State X to lose their jobs.

A Thinker manager would go ahead with the plan because it would be beneficial for the company to reduce cost and explore other markets.

I wouldn't whether a Thinking function or a Feeling function would be better.

It depends on the job.

Like for example, if you're dealing with numbers, strategy or any type of work that requires logical analysis, Thinkers would be more suitable for the job because they are less likely to be affected by emotions.

Jobs dealing with people, like teaching, services and human resource work,

It's better to be handled by Feelers.

What would make a Thinker or Feeler special:

Feelers naturally can understand people's emotions better and knows the words people want to hear.

Thinkers are non-biased and not emotionally clingy.

Thinkers have little desire to please others in comparison to Feelers.

If you look back in history, all the great leaders are Thinkers.

Even the top wealthiest man on earth are Thinkers.

Julius Caesar, Franklin D.Roosevelt, Shih Huang Ti,

Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Donald Trump, George Soros, Carlos Slim Helu

Thinkers are also merciless leaders and dictators;

Adolf Hitler, Saddam Hussein and Kim Jong-il

We shall also not forget the famous Feeler leaders;

Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther and Barack Obama.

Barack Obama is a Feeler and is considered the most powerful man on earth now,

since he is the president of the world's largest economy country.

Barack Obama (enFp) won over Hilary Clinton (esTj)

because the people of the United States are sick of the deterioration of the economy and the wars abroad.

Barack Obama won the hearts of US citizens because he recognizes and understands what the people need at that moment.

That's the power of a Feeler.

I am being very unbiased here.

I am a Feeler myself but I still have my doubts on over the longetivity of a Feeler's leadership.

Feelers are always, always affected by emotions.

And always take people's feelings into considerations.

While you're busy pleasing everybody else, you may start to stumble on your priorities.

Sometimes, harsh decisions has to be made because it is right.

If you feel guilty over the decision, you will find it hard to move on to the next task.

Which you will find your productivity level in the next task will drop.

A leader should always, always be focused on the goal without being affected by emotions.

I am not trying to judge the potential of Barack Obama (He is a Feeler, enFp, the Inspirer, his talks motivates and inspires people) but just stating my point of view for leaderships in general.

Let's step into romance.

If you have a partner who is a Feeler,

You would most likely to be loved and appreciated.

Because the partner would do anything, anything for you, going for extra lengths and so forth.

They often say how much they love and appreciate you.

A Feeler also finds more difficulty in getting over a partner although he/she knows that the person isn't right.

If you have a partner who is a Thinker.

It will drive you crazy.

Because sometimes they look like they do not care.

But in fact, they do not know how to express their feelings.

Very often when they do something for you,

even if you do not see it, they would just keep quiet.

They express their love through acts of service, gifts or just being there to listen to you.

They would sound awkward or funny when they try to be romantic so most of the time, they would prevent sounding so to not make themselves look like fools.

Dealing with Stress:

A Feeler will keep dwelling on the problem and ask many people's opinions about it.

Sometimes, they will go from one person to the other person to talk about their problems.

They're not looking for solutions, they just want people to hear them and approve of their ways.

They just want people to sympathize and understand them.

Even if you provide a solution to a Feeler, they will start defending themselves and counter you back, so there's no point actually.

Just listen to the Feeler and tell them things they wanna hear.

A thinker would most likely withdraw themselves,

mostly uninterested to listen to people's problems,

so they wouldn't even bother to talk about theirs

unless talking about it can really help them,

they might either just go to sleep

and perform a task repetitively, like cleaning or calculating stuff over and over again.

Friends:

Feelers are very fun people.

You can expect great company with them.

And long, long conversations.

you would feel connected.

Thinkers;

Better if you perform activities with them.

If you want to seek solutions to your problems, seek a Thinker friend.

The thinker will provide unbiased and rational opinions.

If you just want someone to listen to you and empathize with you,

seek the Feeler.

Personal opinion and experiences with Feelers and Thinkers :

Feelers are biased, they give opinions and suggestions based on their own interest and values.

It is not logical and sometimes can be irrational.

Being a Feeler myself, I can feel how someone is feeling and deeply empathize with them.

However, if I were to emphathize a Feeler, I will feel screwed up because the feeler's mind is so complicated and psychotic, which will in turn affect my emotions.

Take for example,

A feeler will be telling me about a particular thing, then beat around the bush and make me feel guilty in order to do something for them.

If I give no response, they will give me another guilt ride until I finally give in to them.

Why would I say a Feeler's mind is complicated?

They caught in between doing what they desire and pleasing other people.

For example, a Feeler wants to spend some time on their own for an activity of their interest,

But another person asked them to help them on something else (which they can actually do it on their own).

The Feeler will eventually give in. A thinker would less likely to do so.

Let's say the person asking for help is another Feeler.

That person can be very manipulative.

In order to get what they want.

But usually people will be appreciative towards a Feeler because usually a Feeler is kind and will go extra lengths for you.

Example of manipulative Feelers, Extroverted Feelers; Eg : ENFJ, ESFJ, ESFP, ENFP. Among four, the most manipulative one is ENFJ and the least manipulative one is ENFP. At their worst, ENFJ is a manipulator who is a choleric psycho but at least can be understanding in the end. ESFJ is manipulative without even realizing it, which is pretty screwed up I would say. If an ESFP is a shallow one, the ESFP can be whore by using his/her charms to get what they want. ENFP manipulates people without people realizing it but always tend to be sucker for guilt trips in the end.

I prefer dealing with Thinkers. Whether working or talking about my stuff. Especially ENTJ, ESTJ, ESTP or INTJ.

Perhaps being a feeler myself makes me feel even more incomplete when I'm with another feeler.

A Real Relationship

A real relationship....

is when you found someone you really like. Because it's not easy to fall in love. It's not easy to find someone that can capture your heart among the crowd of faces. It's not easy to have someone keep appearing in your head. It's not very often that you always want to see one particular person all the time. It's rare that when you're next to that person, it makes you feel complete, even without having a conversation.

is when you fight and argue because you care. Because you're a little confused. While you give so much in the relationship, you're afraid the person wouldn't do the same. You have expectations because you believe, want to believe or want that person to be the one. You'll hoping that they would change. When you have no more expectations of the relationship, it only means that you have given up and lost faith in it.

is when you suddenly found yourself doing things you have never done before. Like going an extra length. Working a little harder. Planning for your future. When you walk in the mall, you would look at things and whisper to yourself, "He/She would love this."

You want to make every moment special, every celebration memorable.

is when your other half has met most of your family members and friends. Is when your friends tell you to bring your other half out. When your family is fond of that special someone. Is when your special someone do little things for your family as well. Whenever you're in their house, you feel like you're part of them. When their parents respect your time alone with him/her. When you're included in any special family event.

is when you come back every argument. Cold war makes you torn. You knew if you call them back, you're the winner. Because you're rational. Because you care more about the relationship than your pride. Because you know that every arguments do not indicate that it's the end of the relationship, it's just something you need to work on. Everytime you think of leaving, there's just something that holds you back.

is when you know what makes them happy. And what makes them sad. Cheating may be tempting. But the thought of hurting the one you love kills you.

is when you find nothing, nothing wrong with your partner appearances and their abilities. You're fond of their hair, the way they look. Even when you felt like crap or when the mirror tells you the truth on how you look on a particular day, your partner felt that there is nothing wrong with it. Your partner only want you to feel good or better about yourself. Your partner has fallen in love with you, not whatever you have. Instead of feeling disgusted and disappointed, his/her arms are wrapped around you. That is how you feel whole.

is when you start picturing your future. The proposal. The wedding. You even start picturing how your kids would look like. Whether like your partner or like you. You take the nice features of your partner's and yours and combine them together as you imagined your beautiful child.

The thought of that lit up your face and you find yourself working harder to bring out the best in you because you want your partner to feel proud of you. You putting more effort in self-development and not looking anywhere else for anyone, because the one you want is just a mere touch away.

A real relationship takes a lot of faith to work out. From both the individuals. It's the thoughts that drives your words, your words into action, your action into habits, and thus, create the character you are towards the relationship.

Happy Valentine's to the couples who will be celebrating soon.

When it's not a myth anymore...

This blog is getting more and more personal lol...

And less customized for general reading...

Oh well...

Here is how I should express this...

A dragon she was,

Wrapping her tail around mine.

She tugged it gently.

When I was not looking,

She opened her mouth, shred her skin,

And pierce my back with her venomous fangs.

Wtf is she.

A snake in disguise.

As she whispered sweet nothings and concerns into my ears,

She slowly sprinkle salt and alcohol on my unrealized wound,

She was trying to get me drunk,

She was taking advantage of my vulnerability.

She kept asking if I was alright.

I thought she really cared.

When I am not looking again,

She took another bite.

When I finally got to my senses,

She didn't know.

She was still pretending.

I moved away.

Far from her.

She was an envious dragon.

A wicked snake.

Her insecurities and jealousy was fed by hurting me.

And yes,

If you want to know,

I am better than you in every way.

Even if you strip down to your bone.

You're barely at my level.

Because pride and dignity is much more valuable.

Because jealousy and backstabbing makes you uglier than you are now.

I trusted you so much.

I really cared for you.

I shared so many things with you.

Why do you want to hurt me?

Why do you want to lose a friend?

For the ones who care for me,

Betrayal is not something forgivable.

If you do not feel sincerely sorry for it.

Trust is something you cannot fix when it's broken.

If you want to lose a friend,

Who has no intentions of hurting you,

Who is willing to go an extra mile for you,

You can go ahead and do what she did.

Although you may say you do not mean it,

Your actions will say otherwise.

Although I'll say I'll forgive,

A distance is what we'll have between us.

Today and Yesterday

For posts under this labels, I will put in quotes from different people around me which I find meaningful, or rather surprising to me. These words are words that I would never want to forget. You might not know who say those words, unless you're the one who said them.

During the conversation of type of girls out there...

Me : So what type of girl am I?

He : The happy type. (2010)

Me : Do you think I'll look pretty without my braces?

He : It doesn't matter. (2010)

Me: Do you have girlfriends around you leaving their guys for another guy?

She: Yeah. It's pretty normal.

Me : Why do you say so?

She: People left their partners for better ones. At least they did try to have a relationship. If it doesn't work out, then just let go.

Me: What if your guy left you then? Would you be sad?

She : Not for long.

Me: Why?

She: If you do not give a lot since the beginning of a relationship, you wouldn't feel much pain. You take, take take. When you give, take it back again.

"Do you know what feeling you gave me? You make me feel like I want to protect you, like how I want to protect my mother." (2010)

"You can study, you can draw, you can act, you can sing, what else can you do?" (2007)

"I actually planned to say this later. But being so close to you now, I want to tell you." (2010)

"We were in the car, talking with the music off. We have many things to say and no doubt I had great fun with her. But when I drove home after fetching her back, all that was in my mind was you." (2010)

"You're pretty, inside and out!" (2010)

"I wondered if I have chemistry with you" (2010)

"You were the best among the 19 contestants that auditioned. And the only one who sang in English. What song would you sing if you were to enter the semi-finals?" (2011)

"Yes, teacher. You are very beautiful. But your teeth arr...very scary!!" (2010)

Me: Do you think love at first sight is possible?

Him : Only if the person is very good looking(2010)

"Your voice is all I think about today." (2010)

"I wore the the shirt you gave me for 3 days. And it still smells good. I think I look quite okay in this shirt." (2011)

"The person who loves you the most is the same person who you hurt the most." (2004)

"Growing up is learning to do the things you do not like and being good in it." (2007)

Me : "I was blindly optimistic and was in denial. I've never felt so horrible before, so upset for this long. For once, I was actually pretty disgusted with myself. I was afraid to look myself in the mirror, was afraid to talk to people, I refused to answer the phone calls. I've built a wall that I never knew I was capable of building." (2010)

"Marriage is not about choosing the person with the best qualities, it's about choosing the person in which you think you can tolerate with their flaws." (2008)

"If it was just a dream, then why did it hurt so much?"

"I don't know what is chow chow. I only know cincau."